Alien and Human
by 1337kitsune
Summary: After a rather horrible 'accident' former Invader Zim is banished from his home world and is forced to hide on Earth. There he plots to offer the planet up as gift so his leaders might get rid of the death warrant on his head...the only problem is one young boy who he meets while on the planet. Humans can be complicated creatures.
1. The Arrival

**Alien and Human**

This is a story that is not _completely_ mine. The original story idea belongs to a IZ author on here called jackell. I just wanted to take it and do it in my own style... It kinda reminded me of Hana to Akuma. So...yeah... I hope ya enjoy! READ TEH ORIGINAL!

**Yeesh... Rereading the old version I can tell I was quite high strung a few years ago *shakes head sadly* So, as you can see... I'm not dead. I didn't give up on this story either...just re-did it. Sorry it took as long as it did... Life tends to get in the way of things. So I hope you enjoy the revised story. The previous one shall now be wiped from your memories. If you will please look into the little hole of this sleek silver pen. **

**Are you looking?**

**Three.**

**Two.**

**One...**

**::**

**Chapter One – The Arrival**

"Ugh, that _stupid_ and _horrible _planet!" A green-skinned creature hissed even more vicious words under his breath as he scrambled into the strange alien vehicle at his side, glancing back every few seconds to see if he was being followed.

Quickly muttering and cursing under his breath some more, while tearing a hideous apron off of himself, he punched in various commands on the control panels surrounding him. He began cursing in a rough, harsh language every time he pressed the wrong key or sequence. "Zim shall not be held captive on this planet any longer!"

"Master Zim, where do you plan on going?" a hollow voice asked from the interior of the ship, sounding slightly bored with the situation. The alien paused in his frantic actions before two black antenna quivered on top of his head while maroon eyes narrowed in annoyance. The one question he would have rather avoided seemed to have been asked.

"Zim needs to find a place where he can temporarily hide from the Tallest...at least until they see that Zim's banishment was a mistake... And we can't go back to Irk after what happened the last time," the alien muttered slowly while shuddering once the word of his home planet slipped out. The last time he had been there had been horrible. Just horrible. It was also the reason for his banishment... Honestly. You destroy your home planet once and everyone has it out for you.

"Zim proposes that we travel and see what is on the edge of this galaxy! Surely the Irken Armada hasn't made it there yet! Computer! Take us as far as we can get out of the Irken Empire's reach! You shall then start scanning all nearby planets for life forms similar to that of the irken race that can support irken life!"

After a few more various, and ridiculous, sounding commands the green alien, with the designated name of Zim, yawned before fiddling with a few more buttons. He ended up setting a round-about course that would avoid most of the planets in the quadrant he was in. Getting caught was not something he wanted right now. Especially since that _Fry-Lord _was still trying to hunt him down. Stupid Sizz-Lor and his restaurant that no one even liked.

"Yes Master. May I ask what you shall be doing during that time?" the computer asked in a tone that suggested that he didn't really care but was obligated to ask anyways. Meanwhile various running programs opened and closed in a matter of seconds across the Voot Cruiser's main screen.

"Zim needs to charge his PAK so I shall be powered down for a while," Zim replied while fiddling for a small panel under the seat. A few more seconds of cursing and scratching and he had jerked it open, a small cord unrolling. Grabbing the cord the alien muttered again before plugging it into an open port on the device that rested on his back, a mechanical device called a PAK that looked like a round backpack and kept the irken race alive.

A few seconds after the click of the cord and the alien's body went limp with exhaustion, showing that the connection had been successful and that the PAK was now charging.

::

"Master, I have located a planet in the star system that can maintain life forms similar to that of the Irken race, shall I plot a course for the planet Earth?"

A soft groan of annoyance was the only response to the question, prompting the computer to end the PAK charging sequence. A few seconds after the beeping noise, which signified the disconnection, another groan was heard. Zim's eyes fluttered open as a yawn escaped, his antenna furling and unfurling as they tried to straighten themselves out after being curled up for so long.

"Hn, how long as Zim been charging?" the alien muttered while rubbing his eyes and unplugging the cord from his PAK, letting it go and allowing it to swiftly roll back into the panel it had come from. After the panel was safely closed he glanced out the Voot's window, noticing how none of the stars, planets, or constellations were recognizable. They must have traveled quite a long way...

"Six months master. I have scanned all systems that we have passed as ordered and found the planet Earth. It is far outside the Irken empire and as such is not marked. It's life forms go by the name of _humans._ They are many years behind that of the Irken race however. They do have technology, however it is at an inferior quality. They have only the basic of artificial intelligences and their motor vehicles still run on fossil fuels.

"They also have limited interaction with space, having just found ways to travel in the past few decades or so. They have not even found ways to keep space stations permanently in the sky or...even discovered light speed!" At this the computer sounded disbelieving, Zim too made a noise of disbelief. Really, how could a planet be so _stupid_?

"They're that behind? Well...that means that Irk and the Tallest will not be in this quadrant or section for awhile...all they sound good for is slave labor! Go ahead and plot a course for Earth. Zim just knew those intelligence and emotion upgrades were a good idea, even though the engineer said otherwise." Zim grinned smugly while leaning back in his seat and awaiting the landing of what was to be his new, and hopefully temporary, home planet.

As the planet started coming into focus Zim was able to see more close-ups on his Voot screen, he was surprised to find himself a bit depressed at how young and behind the planet was. Looking closer he realized that the armada would find little use for this planet except...maybe they could use the humans for pets and their planet for a vacation spot? On a closer look they didn't even look fit for manual labor!

"Ugh...this place is just _begging _to be invaded and conquered by an elite invader! Look at how _stupid _these creatures are! The planet is even covered in that stupid _water._ No irken in their right mind would come here unless forced to! Although...these..._humans _would make good pets Zim supposes..." Zim muttered while looking through the file of the planet's stats. Needles to say that they weren't very promising.

"Then why not take over the planet yourself? Offer it up as a peace offering to the Tallest? Maybe then they won't completely obliterate you and instead just make it a life-time banishment..." the computer trailed off while bringing up the file of Zim's life banishment sentence, which had now been changed to a kill-on-sight order. Zim simply ignored the screen in favor of looking down at the planet again.

"Hm...that's not a bad idea... Yes. Zim can see it now... THE ALMIGHY ZIM SHALL CONQUER THIS PATHETIC PLANET!" The shouts were so loud that a few humans and animals looked around in shock as the Voot flew over them fast enough to not even be seen. This went on for a few more seconds, Zim cackling while the Computer just sighed, before the former invader suddenly sat up straight and pointed dramatically out the window. "HERE! WE BUILD HERE COMPUTER!"

Below the Voot, where Zim had dramatically pointed, there was a small piece of land that looked to be at the rim of a small cul-de-sac. The town looked to be a quiet and peaceful one where not too many strange things seemed to happen. Of course Zim had ignored the screen that said the town housed a homicidal murder, a super genius, and many other strange humans.

Computer resisted the urge to turn off his microphones and speakers at the screaming before abruptly stopping the Voot in midair and carefully lowering the vehicle to the ground. A sudden power failure, not caused by Computer, caused it to fall the rest of the way and crash to the ground. Zim seemed not to mind since he just jumped out on the grass before looking around and nodding in a satisfied way.

Due to all the smoke from the power failure to the Voot's engine Computer noticed that his master looked like a green-skinned creature ready to invade and destroy the planet and all life forms on it. Which he was. That was beside the point though.

Zim cackled to himself, quite loudly, before a small port opened on his PAK. A thin mechanical arm quickly reached out and dropped a small device in Zim's hands before retreating. The device looked to be nothing more than a small, albeit alien-looking, clipboard. Taking out a pen from the device Zim doodled on it quickly while muttering to himself, "Some windows...a couple of animal things in front...THERE!" Zim smiled lightly while tucking the pen back into the top of the pad.

Twisting the pad Zim watched as it quickly grew smaller and shrank before turning into a small drill-like device. Setting the drill on the ground and watching it burrow in Zim smiled before quickly standing up and running behind what looked to be like a fire hydrant. Silence reigned all around the neighborhood before sounds of screeching, groaning, and moving metal was heard.

Car alarms, crying babies, and barking dogs were heard all around the cul-de-sac as Zim watched with a huge smile as his new base took shape. He could see glimpses of what the upper part of the house looked like, including a couch and bed. What he really couldn't wait to see though was the underground part of the base, where all his real technology and weapons were stored. It would also be where he would spend most of his time.

As soon as the last gnome popped up, a few tacky signs flashing about loving Earth popping up as well, the neighbors looked out of their houses in confusion. Zim seemed not to notice as he confidently walked up to his new base, sure that his mission wouldn't take near as long as some of the invader's other missions. Like that one invader who got saddled with conquering Vort. That had taken almost a _year. _

"Computer! Activate the learning programs and start up the included service drones!" Zim shouted as soon as the front door was kicked closed. The sound of running programs and shifting metal and gears was heard before Zim grinned again and walked through the living room and into the kitchen. On the way he passed said service drones, which looked like pathetic pieces of scrap metal. He also noticed a picture of a monkey's head, it was strangely...

Quickly striding across the kitchen Zim stopped in front of a small trash-can, kicking the lid open before climbing inside carefully. A few seconds of waiting and a small elevator started up, slowly taking Zim down into the actual labs and rooms of the base. Feeling the elevator drop out form under him Zim quickly and smoothly fell into a large red chair. Screens of the planet's stats automatically popped up onto the screen.

"And so...it begins..."

* * *

So this is going to be the revised version and I shall work on it when I get the time. I'm already doing two other multi-chapter stories and working on one of my novels, so we'll see how this goes.


	2. Settling In

**So again this is a new chapter different from the original. Somehow these chapters are much longer than anything I can do now and days...which is strange. Anyways, here's revised Chapter Two, I hope you enjoy it! I still can't believe I manged to get 15 followers what with how terrible this story was...**

* * *

**Chapter Two – Settling In**

**::**

Almost a year had passed by since the night of the irken invader's arrival to the planet Earth. Twelve months that had been quite productive in the invader's opinion. He had changed in a lot of ways for one thing, the most obvious being his height.

Due to the Earth's gravitational pull, and some experimental, and illegal, workings on his PAK, Zim had increased in height by a tremendous amount. He had quickly gone from being a measly three feet to being a quite proud five feet.

Another thing that had grown, yet wasn't quite as obvious, was the Irken's intelligence. He currently possessed a measured IQ of 212, which he was sure would get higher as he continued to grow. In most cases, the taller an Irken became, the more powerful he would become, both in body and mind.

Height was Power.

"Computer! Zim is bored!" whined the irken, the name of his race. In the year he had been here he had nearly dominated the underground and black markets across the world, and held quite a bit of political sway. The only thing that kept him from completely controlling the underground were those pesky rebels and police officers, which were quickly becoming an annoyance. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to several of the world's leading AI programs through a secured and impenetrable chat room. The AI of Professor Membrane is particularly interesting in today's chat...apparently there was something about a failed or missing, maybe even stolen, project of the Professor's."

"Professor Membrane..." Zim muttered while sighing and collapsing on the couch in the main room of his base, the one on the upper level at least, which was only for appearances. He usually secluded himself in the basement and laboratory part of his base, but today he had been too tired to even make it to one of the entrances.

Professor Membrane had also been one of the main reasons that the irken had yet to conquer the humans. He had tried to hack into various military buildings to acquire their attack plans and weapon blueprints, but that Membrane kept changing the codes before he could fully hack into the buildings! It was only a matter of time until Zim broke them all, but still, it didn't stop him from being annoyed.

"Probably something to achieve world peace...again..." Zim muttered while sighing and glancing at the ceiling, wondering what he could do. The planet wasn't yet ready to give to his Tallest, which was something that annoyed him. The sooner he could give the planet away meant the sooner he could get away from this place and find somewhere else to settle down. He knew he probably wouldn't be invited back to Irk..but maybe he could visit.

If they had rebuilt it anyways.

"I believe this project was of a more personal nature," Computer continued before a purple screen dropped down in front of Zim, a few programs and sites popping up on it in the alien's native language, "It has yet to be declared a failure or stolen project, let alone announced even."

"Interesting..." Zim muttered while glancing at the projects. If Membrane had truly lost it, and hadn't even announced the project first, then it was something that he didn't want getting out to the public. After all, from what Zim could tell, that man loved attention. So this must have been something very important...a weapon perhaps?

"It is of no importance for now," Zim muttered while turning his body around to lay on his stomach, seeing as his PAK was an uncomfortable thing to lay on, "If it truly was a failure then Zim has no need or knowledge of it. If it was stolen then Zim will hear more news of it eventually."

"Master..." Computer trailed of uncertainly, as if not sure how to continue, "May I perhaps suggest ordering a SIR unit? It might help with your conquering of the planet!" A_nd get you off the couch, _Computer left the last few words unsaid, hoping that his Master would agree with the idea. "I can easily order one from the galaxy's black market. Under a fake name of course."

"Hn...Zim supposes a SIR unit could be useful...it would help with the information gathering of the planet at least..." Zim replied while yawning and scratching one cheek. "Go ahead with the order Computer. The sooner this pathetic planet is conquered the better." An alien, even an elite irken, could only handle so long on this planet with it's foolish meat-heads before staring to go crazy.

"May I ask one more thing?" Computer spoke up while once again windows and numbers were crossing the screen at a rapid pace, these all pertaining to the Black Galaxy, which is what most aliens called it. Zim just yawned and snuggled deeper into the couch, looking as if he was ready to take a nap.

"What?" Zim drawled in a bored tone while his eyes were closed to something barely more than slits.

"Why are you neither at school nor work today?" Zim sighed at the question before yawning again and attempting to explain.

"Zim has decided to wait a few more months before starting school, the _college _that Zim has chosen will be fine for doing undercover research, but it will be pointless to go there unless Zim gains a few more inches in height. Right now my height will cause others to think that...ngh..._I_..." Zim paused here and looked annoyed. He had found out earlier that humans refer to themselves while talking with an _I._

It was something that Zim was having trouble adjusting to, considering that in the Irken language they did not refer to themselves with I's, but with their names. A few more seconds of internal seething, and Zim continued with his explanation. "At this height I will be mistaken for an attending student at...ngh...what was it called..._Hi Skool_?"

"And what of your work?" the computer asked while a list of SIR units were scrolled through on the screen. A few of them looked outdated while others looked quite lethal. There was one unit named Mimi in particular that looked quite deadly.

"Zim's only job is controlling the underground markets. Something that the drones can easily take care of." Which was true. Zim had made a fortune controlling the market, and he really didn't need to go visit the markets every day. Just once a month or so to make sure everything was in order.

The lapse of talking was long and Zim had started to fall asleep again. And in doing so his thoughts started going in the directions that he had wanted to avoid. Especially since they depressed him. Here he was one of the richest beings on the planet, not to mention he controlled the whole underground - he also had quite a bit of control and say in the planet's politics, not that they knew that – and he was bored to death.

It was better to be bored though, besides, there was no point in caring when the planet was doomed anyways. Even if the human race survived the irken armada then all they would become would be slave labor or pets. Zim could think of quite a few alien races who would like to have humans as a pet.

If only the planet was ready so he could show his Tallest just how much he had grown. He had been here a year and was over halfway through with conquering the planet, and he hadn't blown anything up or given away his position! Surely the Tallest would be pleased if they knew just how much he had progressed...

What felt like just a few seconds later his computer was waking him up. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep, what with it being uncommon to sleep so often among the irken race. Zim supposed it was where he was getting use to the human sleeping schedule, which didn't bother him as much as it should.

"Master, the SIR unit has just arrived for you." Zim just blinked tiredly at the news before rolling off the couch and stumbling towards the door. He glanced at the clock on the purple screen that was still visible, seeing it had been an hour since he had placed the order for the SIR unit.

"Whatever," Zim muttered while yawning. Thinking wore him out. Sighing and checking to make sure his disguise was firmly on, which was a wig and some contacts, Zim swiftly opened the door and grabbed the black box that was sitting on the porch, blue alien symbols flashing across the surface. Just as quickly he closed the door back and retreated into his base. Zim had been most reluctant to leave his base ever since he had learned that green skin wasn't normal.

Who would have thought that _pink _skin was _normal_.

"Now let's see what you can do..." Zim muttered while grinning evilly and pushing a few of the blue symbols that were flashing. The black box's top opened with an evil whooshing sound as the sheen of silver was seen from inside. A few seconds later and a small robot jumped out of the box, saluting while facing Zim.

"It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!" Zim cackled evilly, and loudly, as the robot's eyes, shoulders, stomach and wrists glowed a fierce and evil red. "Ugh! That's _horrible _on the throat!" Zim coughed while rubbing his sore throat. Zim noticed that the robot also had a small antenna on the top of his head, which was waving back and forth...cutely... "SIR unit! Report your number!"

"GIR! Reporting for duty!" the SIR unit responded while ending his salute and lowering his hand. His voice was deep and made him seem like the type to do anything to get the job done. Zim blinked confusedly once the name was stated. Usually SIR units had numbers, they only had names when they were of a custom built model.

"Gir? What's the G stand for?" Zim asked while tilting his head slightly to the side and staring at the robot, who was quickly changing from his calm and cool demeanor. For one, his eyes, and every other place glowing red, were quickly fading to a light cyan. He was also grinning stupidly, like he didn't care what happened as long as he got to do something fun. And stupid.

"I don't know..." Gir trailed off while tilting his own head to the side and looking quite confused. He then burst into a fit of loudly pitched giggles that were sure to grate on the nerves. Just as Zim thought it couldn't get any worse, the SIR unit began hitting his head back and forth with his fists.

"Okay..." Zim dragged the word out as long as he deemed necessary, which was quite a while. "Computer! Is the SIR unit supposed to be this...stupid?" He was staring at the robot now with mixed emotions. On one hand, he was annoyed that the robot he had been sent was...well, in lack of a better word, stupid. On the other hand though...at least it wouldn't be exactly quiet around the base anymore. Zim shook his head before walking over to the wall behind he couch, looking for something he knew was there somewhere.

"So, Gir..." Zim turned back to look at the small robot, who was now bouncing up and down. On his head. Shaking his own head, Zim just turned back to the wall and opened a small panel that blended in almost seamlessly. A few seconds of rummaging and he brought out a green and black piece of fabric. It looked like a one-piece costume, for babies or toddlers. "This is your dog disguise. If you want to leave the house, you must have it on you at _all _times."

Zim didn't quite know why he had the costume, but it looked like it would come in hand eventually.

"I love you..." Gir sniffled with teary eyes before grabbing the costume and jerking it on, making sure to pull the head up. The base color of the body looked to be an alien green, maybe a few shades lighter. The head itself had a line of seams going down it, as if it had just been sewn up, while the ears where a deep black. The arms, legs, and tail were also the same shade of black. The finishing touch was pink tongue trailing out of where the mouth would be. Not to mention the large zipper located on the stomach of course.

Zim thought it was quite the brilliant disguise.

"Eh? What was that all about..." Zim mumbled under his breath, staring dumbly at where the little robot had been standing mere seconds before, the SIR unit having run out of the house at startling speed once he had gotten his disguise on.

"Uh...I believe they sent us a defective model Master," Computer replied, slightly nervous. He knew just how bad Zim could get when he got cheated out of deals and what he payed for. The last human that had done that had...well...let's just say that they no longer had a job. Or a home. Or a life. Or a heart.

"Whatever," Zim sighed before flopping back on the couch lazily, "As long as his disguise is on, and he doesn't blow my mission, I really don't care." Having finished his explanation Zim snuggled back into the couch, ready to continue his nap, if only to do something besides stare at a wall all day.

"Um...shouldn't you be going after him? What if he hurts someone important? Or exposes us!" Computer sounded gravely serious, after all, with a defective robot it would be quite easy to have their mission blown. Which wouldn't make for a happy Zim. Which wouldn't make for a working computer AI.

Zim just sighed in annoyance before moving his head to glare at the purple screen in front of him, which is what he often addressed when talking to his computer. "All unit weapons are still offline. He can't hurt anyone, at least, not seriously. Now, leave me alone and let me charge my PAK," Zim hissed before closing his eyes again, tightly.

"You charged it last night. Shouldn't you be getting some exercise or training in. And if you do find the broken SIR unit then I can send it back for you." Zim's computer sounded annoyed at the alien's depression but supposed he couldn't blame him. There really wasn't much he could do to conquer the Earth right now, and Zim _hated _being idle.

"Fine! Zim will retrieve the SIR! If it will shut you up," Zim snorted the last part, which he did quite well for someone without a nose. He then pushed himself up and went towards the door, making sure his disguise was still on. He hated the stupid thing, especially those damn contacts.

They were so scratchy!

The computer just sighed to itself while Zim jumped down the steps in an annoyed fashion before going off in search of his new, and missing, robot. Not to mention stupid and annoying, but Zim didn't really care about that part.

"Finally he's out of the house. Him and his pride get so wounded every time something doesn't go his way..." The computer muttered to itself some more while noises began coming out of the kitchen, the computer deciding to make dinner for when Zim returned, with the new SIR unit of course.

::

Computer was starting to worry.

It had been a few hours since Zim had left the base to look for the defective robot and the two were still gone. It was now nearing night and Zim had yet to call or send news of where he was. A few seconds from hacking into the town's security system to check for the two the computer finally heard a laughing Zim and Gir approaching the house.

The two quickly came bursting through the door before shutting said door behind them. Well, slamming really. Their arms were laden with bags of what looked to be junk food, video games and even computer parts, inferior though they were. The computer was torn between being relieved and being angry. The result was being a little of both.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself, Master?" the computer asked, a hint of anger in the voice. Usually Zim would call if he was out after sunset. Him not calling was what had mainly worried the computer.

"Yes. And do not sound so mad for Zim has something for you!" Zim's tone of voice was that of someone who was trying to sound innocent yet hiding a surprise. He was mainly failing due to all the laughing he was doing though. Gir did another of his screaming giggles before running around the living room, still in his dog costume, and laughing crazily. "Zim has procured the new circuit bored for your projects."

The computer was surprised that the irken had remembered and decided to take the peace offering. Besides, the computer had never really been mad, just worried. "Master! I'm so glad you got it!" Metal hands quickly came out of the wall from behind the couch to take the parts that Zim had gotten.

"It was simple. The pathetic service drones didn't even know that their security systems had been knocked out! Let alone several hundred dollars worth of their equipment missing." The computer made a surprised noise at the happy note hidden in the alien's voice.

"You are in a good mood Master, what happened?"

"Zim had simply forgotten how fun it is to go shopping. And blow things up of course," at this the alien let loose another cackle, this one sounding far more sinister than most of them had been lately. He then quickly slipped his itchy wig and scratchy contacts off, throwing them towards the floor where they were quickly caught by metal hands before retreating into the wall.

"You blew things up?" Computer asked back, in confusion and surprise. Zim hadn't been blowing things up for a few months now, frankly, it had started to worry the computer. Now though, it sounded almost as if Zim was back to the destructive little alien that had first landed on the planet.

"Yes. It was Gir's idea. And fault," Zim explained while shooting a halfhearted glare at the little robot, who was wiggling out of his disguise and not paying attention to anything. "He somehow blew up a taco stand and than two restaurants that sold tacos. We then went around breaking and stealing many random things and-"

"We's made it esplode all~ day long!" Gir screeched in a high-pitched voice that cut Zim off, not that the alien really minded anymore. He had become used to it after the first half-hour in the robot's company.

"Yes. Yes we did." Zim smirked while walking back over to the couch and flopping down onto his favorite spot, throwing the bags down next to him. Shifting around so he would be comfortable while laying on his PAK he closed his eyes and sighed in contentment.

"Well, I'm glad you had such a wonderful time," Computer responded while watching Gir climb up onto Zim's stomach before smiling widely and giggling.

"Mast-ah is the bestest evur!" Gir grinned hugely again before yawning and snuggling into Zim's stomach, the cyan-colored lights fading to an almost gray color, showing that the robot had now entered sleep mode.

"Shall I deactivate him and send him back to the Black Galaxy?" the computer asked, secretly hopping that his master would decide to keep the little robot. It seemed to have quite the positive effect on the alien.

"No. Gir shall stay with us. He's not so much defective as different, like you and me," Zim replied softly while sliding sideways into a more comfortable spot, Gir crawling up onto his side before snuggling in again. "Besides, there's no point in sending him back when he will just become trashed and lonely. Or destroyed. Zim shall simply improve him! Make him better than the others! Like he did to you."

"That's good to hear," the computer spoke softly while metal arms once more emerged, this time placing a soft blanket over the two, who had quickly passed out due to their tiring day. "Now we just need to find a way to conquer this planet..."

::

"Gir!"

It had been nearing a week since the defective SIR unit arrived at the alien's base and he and the computer had yet to get along. So when Zim woke up to his computer yelling at the little robot, again, he wasn't really worried. He was confused when he heard screams about waffles though...

"Computer! What's all the noise about this time?" Zim asked while rubbing his eyes and groggily getting up from the couch, where he had fallen asleep after doing some more Earth research. Before Zim could get his answer however, he spotted the little SIR unit walking towards the front door, carrying what looked like a bunch of bowls. "And just where are you going?"

Gir glanced back for a few seconds before slipping his dog disguise on and giggling. It didn't take much imagination to picture the robot's huge smile and lolling tongue, "To play with my new friend! HE AND ME LOVES WAFFLES!" The last part was screeched very loudly as Gir grabbed his bowls and ran out out of the house, giggling in his insane and demented way.

"What on Irk is he talking about..." Zim muttered, more to himself than to the the computer, who felt the need to respond anyways. If only to have someone else to complain to.

"This morning he saw a cooking show about waffles thus he decided to make some in the kitchen. He decided to summon hell along with them..." Computer muttered while sounding thoroughly annoyed. Zim just rolled his eyes, sure the computer was exaggerating, before walking into the kitchen. It took all of two seconds for Zim to take in the amount of destruction that had happened to his kitchen.

"Zim shall not clean this mess..."

"You won't have to," Computer grumbled while Zim walked over towards the table, carefully sniffing at an innocent looking pile of waffles, "I'll use the new drones I built and it will be good as new in a few hours..." the computer trailed off as one of it's screens watched Zim, who was now drenching the waffles in a sugary-sweet syrup before taking a bite out of the concoction.

"These are actually pretty good..." Zim muttered slowly while finally sitting down and taking another bite. The computer made a noise of surprise, as if anything that was made by that little monstrosity could be good. Maybe it was just where this irken has a bigger sweet tooth than most of his kind.

"To each his own I suppose... By the way Master, shouldn't you be preparing for the monthly inspection of the black markets?" Computer asked while two small cleaning bots entered the kitchen and began cleaning the mess Gir had made. The computer groaned as a long, slimy, and purple tentacle emerged from the sink and crushed one of the robots in it's grip. So much for cleaning drone number 01...

"Yes. Zim needs to check the major markets in each area. How many are there again?" Zim asked while grabbing a glass of what looked like orange juice. It was hard to tell but whatever it was it tasted sweet and tangy so the irken didn't really care if it was supposed to be drinkable or not.

"I believe there are seventeen markets scattered across the world that you need to check regularly. There are fifty-two others that only need to be checked once every few months." Zim watched, only half-listening, as the second drone valiantly fought against the tentacle before finally taking out a saw and sawing it away from the sink. It withered on the floor for a few more seconds before disintegrating into ashes.

"How many must Zim check today?" Zim asked while finishing his waffles and handing the plate and cup to the drone, who was now waving an irken flag in victory.

"I believe you only need to check ten of those today. The other seven are in good hands for now, but they may need to be checked up on later this month. I also believe the one in charge of the Eastern United States black market is in need of a job change."

"Tony? Tallest I hate him..." Zim muttered while walking back towards the living room and riffling around for his disguise, which he could have sworn he left on the couch. Or was it under? Maybe it had been in that pile of...what was that pile anyways? It looked like...ngh...were those red eyes staring back at Zim?

"Yes. I believe he's been making plans to usurp you. It shouldn't take too long to get rid of him. After he's gone you can put Mich-er, Ellie, in charge of the market." Zim made a hum of acknowledgment while finally finding his wig, which had been half-draped across the video monitor. It looked like the computer had almost forgotten that _Ellie _preferred to not have her real name known.

"Ellie would be a better drone than Tony...she's as ruthless as an invader at times," at this Zim cackled, pleased at having such a ruthless employee. "Alright. Ellie shall run the Eastern USA black market, Tony on the other hand...what do you think he should do after his _demotion_?"

"I believe the police are after him for drug-dealing and five murders. We could hand him over to them?" At the derogatory noise from the alien the computer pulled up a few more files on the man, "On the other hand, he is wanted by the Rattlesnake gang, near New York. We could give him to them, surely they would teach him a lesson about betraying his superiors."

Another cackle from Zim was all the answer the computer needed. "See to it that the gang is alerted, they shall get Tony later today." A popping noise of contacts was heard before the human, of sorts, Zim stood in front of the door. He was planning on taking his Voot to check on the markets, which he had parked in an abandoned warehouse ever since some stupid human had spotted him earlier. Of course the human remembered nothing of that night.

"Already done Master," Computer responded while a horrible grating and grinding noise from the kitchen was heard. Zim slowly turned his head around while looking nervous. The computer just sighed before grumbling and sending in two more drones, these coming from a small panel under the video monitor.

"Computer?"

"Just the last cleaning drone...apparently the previously dead tentacle had a sibling..." Computer grumbled while Zim shivered and opened the door. He really didn't need any more information than that. Although he did wonder where the things had come from, surely Gir's cooking couldn't have been as bad as to summon demonic creatures from what this world called hell...right?

::

With Gir a now permanent resident of the alien household that became the normal routine of the base. Well, normal for them anyways. Zim would go around the world's black markets, punishing those who defied him and rewarding those who followed him. He also did spare Earth research when he had the time, which was becoming more and more often what with Ellie now having taken over all USA branches of the markets. She was quite the extortionist.

Gir on the other hand, when not doing something destructive, would make enough food to feed a family of country hicks for a week before leaving the house. When asked by both Zim and the computer where he was going Gir would just scream that he was going to play with his new friend. Which was something that usually took all day.

Of course, even if it took all day, he still found time to make messes of mass destruction, which Computer found his responsibility to clean. Which took him all day. One would think that one robot would only be able to summon one or two demonic forces of hell but this one seemed to be able to summon them every time he cooked.

They would need more drones soon...

"Do you think the Rattlesnake gang would be willing to subdue the market rivals?" Zim muttered while sitting in the lab in front of his main video monitor, the one that he mainly used for his black market business. The computer hummed before bringing up a few profiles on the gang and rivals that Zim had been talking about.

"I don't see why not, Master. They did like the _gift _we gave them a few weeks ago," Computer chuckled near the end, causing a small cackle from Zim.

"Ah Tony...to think he thought he could get away with facing the mighty ZIM! GIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Zim was instantly yelling and screaming, which was something he found himself doing far more often ever since Gir had started living with them.

"Gettin' food!" Gir grinned before going back to riffling through the fridge, which Zim found annoying since the only thing down here was irken food. Well, that and sweets.

"And why are you getting irken food?" Zim asked while standing up and walking over to Gir before crossing his arms. Another habit he had formed as late. "Well?"

"To bring to my new friend!" Gir hummed a stupid little song to himself while piling a bunch of things on top of a plate. Things that were sure to poison a human if eaten. And as much as he didn't really mind having a human death on his hands, hell, he had plenty of those already, he really didn't want Gir screaming and putting up a hissy fit over the death of some human.

"Gir...I'm sure this _friend _of yours has food of his own. He doesn't need ours." At this metal hands from the wall quickly flew out and grabbed the food from Gir's hands, stuffing it all back into the cooling unit and closing the door. Gir seemed to stare blankly at it for a few seconds before his mouth twitched and frowned.

Sensing what was coming Zim quickly put his hands over his antenna, flatting them as far as he could against his head. A screaming Gir was not something that he wanted to deal with right now.

"B-But...I WANT TO!" Gir's yelling, bursting into tears, and screaming was louder than Zim had ever heard. Which, when he thought about it, was pretty loud. He was pretty sure that the computer already had a few microphones and speakers blown from the noise level.

"ENOUGH!" Zim yelled in his own loud voice, which was only a little softer than Gir's, but it still got the point across. "FINE! If you want to give him our food then just bring him home with you!"

"REALLY?!" Zim's antenna and eye twitched yet again at the high-pitched noises coming from his robot's mouth. This time it was squealing instead of screaming, which was just as bad. The resounding quiet after the question was like music to Zim's throbbing and twitching antenna.

"Yes yes. Zim would like to see this friend of yours..." Zim muttered while Gir let out another scream before running towards the elevator, jerking his dog disguise out of his open head. Zim sighed in relief at the nuisance being gone, sitting down on the small couch a few yards away from the cooling unit.

"Master, is this really such a wise plan? Bringing a human into the base?" Computer asked quietly while running a few complex programs, mainly to fix his microphones and speakers that had been blown due to Gir's yelling and screaming and squealing.

"Yes. Zim wants to know just who and what this _friend _of Gir's is... If they know about us, and if they are a threat, then they will be quickly disposed of," Zim responded flatly while narrowing his eyes. He would tolerate a lot from Computer and Gir but he drew a thick and uncrossable line at threats to the mission.

"And if the human is not a threat?" the computer asked while Zim stood up and walked towards the elevator, planning on being in the living room when Gir entered with the human he was so fond of.

"Simple. We shall let him live. If he knows nothing of our mission, or our true identities, then he is no threat. Besides..." Zim started to rub his antenna again at thinking what would happen if they did kill Gir's friend, "I would rather avoid a screaming Gir..."

"Agreed," the computer muttered while the few cleaning drones that had been out scurried into their hiding places. Zim sighed in relief as he stepped out of the elevator, noticing that the kitchen wasn't a mess like it usually was. "I believe the two are approaching Master. Gir's sensor is close enough to show up on the proximity screen."

"Then let us see who this friend of his is..." Zim muttered while plopping his wig on and popping in his contacts quickly. Zim decided to stand in front of the door instead of sit down, since it would just be a waste. Besides, he'd rather be standing up if he had to intimidate someone. After all, Height was Power.

"Mastah! This is my friend!" Gir squealed while kicking the door open and running through it. Behind him, and being dragged against his will, was a small boy who looked to be barely three feet tall and no older than five-years-old. He had strange hair too. It was pure black but it was styled like a scythe. The gold eyes was what caught Zim's attention however. No human had gold eyes like that. "Imma go make mashed potatoes for you all to share!"

While the screaming Gir bounced into the kitchen the boy stood in front of Zim. He looked slightly scared, but that was to be expected. Having a green talking dog drag you to it's house and all that. The boy also looked like he was trying to be brave, since he wasn't crying or anything. He was slightly shaking however. Though Zim, with his expertise in military tactics and background, noticed it wasn't so much as fear he was shivering from...but weakness?

The most noticeable thing about this boy however was that...he stunk.

"Sweet Irk almighty," Zim slightly gagged, trying not to be too rude, "When was the last time your parental units bathed you?" The irken was as blunt as ever as he looked over at the shivering kid, who was now slightly glaring at the, what looked like, green human.

"A long time..." the boy finally muttered before adjusting his glasses, which Zim noticed were ill-fitting and cracked in some places. Zim just scoffed at the boy before cocking his head to one side. Most kids were afraid of him, what with his skin color and lack of ears and a nose. And the three fingers. This kid however...this one was...different...

"You look familiar..." Zim muttered while the kid just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, looking the other way. Zim guessed that if it had been up to the boy he wouldn't be here. "Hmph. Didn't your parental units teach you any manners, boy? Not to mention...don't they care what you smell like?"

"But mastah! He lives in a trash can! So stink is good!" Gir giggled while jumping onto Zim's head from behind and sliding down until he clung on around the alien's neck. Zim's eye twitched before he grabbed the dog costume's ears and threw the little robot back towards the kitchen. It was only until the annoyance was gone that Zim realized what Gir had told him.

"What? Don't your parental units have room for you in their designated housing unit?" Zim asked in slight surprise. Not that it was really his problem, but still. It was interesting. He had seen people on the street, but never a child this young before.

"He don't have any," Gir muttered in a sad voice from the kitchen. Zim glanced at the robot, startled that he would say something intelligent and emotional that was connected to the conversation. And then the words sunk in again.

"Wha-?"

"It's none of your business whether or not I have, what did you call them..._parental units_?" here the boy scoffed, as if anyone could be that stupid. "I don't have any. I live just fine on my own. I only came here because Gir asked me to, and he's been a good friend to me so I thought he deserved at least my cooperation in the matter."

"You certainly don't talk like an Earthen smeet..." Zim muttered softly while staring down at the boy, who looked confused at the wording. Zim on the other hand was too distracted to notice his slip-up in front of the human. This boy couldn't be older than five-years-old yet he talked as if he was _at least_ sixteen! "State your name boy."

"Why should I tell you?" the boy scoffed before noticing the dangerous look in the alien's eyes. He may not have known that the being in front of him really was an alien but he wasn't stupid. He knew that he wouldn't win in any fights against this person, "I don't know. I don't really have a name...the only person who really cared a little about me called me Dib. So I guess if I had to choose my name would be that."

"Well...Dib... You've already met Gir," at this Zim pointed behind his shoulder, where Gir was doing the salsa on the kitchen table. "And I'm Zim. You're here because Zi- _I,_" Ugh, he hated not being about to talk in third-person, "wanted to... Ngh... Meet Gir's _friend_." Dib just cocked an eyebrow at how annoyed Zim sounded, considering it was he who ordered the boy brought to him.

"Why are you green?" Dib muttered, mostly to himself. Zim decided to lie anyways, just to make sure that the child didn't find out any answers that he didn't want him to.

"It's a skin condition," Zim responded. "A very rare one that I have had for quite some time." Dib just raised an eyebrow again, as if that was the stupidest excuse the alien could come up with.

"Right. What about your lack of nose and ears? Is that part of your skin condition, _Zim_." The irken had to use all his control to not pummel the little brat right there and then for sounding so insolent. Forcing down the urge to growl and attack the human to prove who was superior, Zim just smiled. Albeit forcibly, but still, it was a smile.

"Yes. It's a condition that most have not heard of. You have no need to worry pitiful worm-baby, it is not contagious so you should be just fine," Zim let out a dark laugh, hoping the kid would buy it. He didn't mind killing humans but he still would like to avoid having the blood of a child on his hands.

"You're an alien, aren't you?" Dib tilted his head to the side while looking curious. Zim was about to go into freak-out mode before he noticed that the kid was shaking even more than before, and his eyes looked like they were being held open only by sheer willpower. "I mean...there's not much else that you could be...right?" The boy's eyes began to droop further and further.

"Uh...well..." Zim stalled, hoping to think up a good lie. He suddenly found the need unnecessary since the boy had collapsed and was now laying the floor, panting harshly and looking in pain. "Great..." Zim muttered while kneeling down and poking the boy in the side. As if he didn't have enough to worry about now he had to deal with a passed out kid that had guessed he was an alien.

Why did this one kid have to be the one who _wasn't _stupid?

"Shall I dispose of the body now, Master?" Computer asked coldly. If it had eyes they would surely be glaring. Zim took a moment to ponder the reason as to why the computer would sound so cold and heartless but decided it was just due to their secret almost being blown.

"No, Computer. He's still alive, if only just... He seems to have multiple wounds to the body and, if his shaking was any indication, hunger pains..." Zim sighed before standing up and looking down at the boy. Considering he was here to begin with Zim could easily guess that the child was homeless and had nowhere to go. And no one to go to for that matter.

"Then shall I kill him?" Zim blinked in confusion at the hopeful sounding voice of the computer while Gir walked in from the kitchen. The little robot was now poking Dib's cheek lightly, who ignored the touch. It took a few more seconds of silence and poking for the computer's words to finally sink into the alien.

"What?! No!" Zim yelled before quickly snapping his mouth closed and looking towards Dib, who muttered something as a flash of pain crossed his face. "No."

"He guessed you were an alien though. Shouldn't we dispose of him before he causes us trouble?" the computer asked while Zim just sighed before jerking the wig off and stretching his antenna out. He then popped the contacts out and set the disguise on top of the couch.

"What's the point? He's a homeless smeet. A human, but a smeet nonetheless. Besides, judging from the state he's in he has no one to tell of us. Zim will just take him down to the lab, patch him up, and let him go. Even if he tells someone of us who would believe him?" Zim sighed again before bending down and carefully lifting the boy up into his arms. A few seconds was all it took for the human to snuggle into Zim's arms before a peaceful expression crossed his face.

"Great, he likes me," Zim grumbled while heading towards the kitchen, looking for the switch to the elevator. Gir followed and actually stayed quiet for once, realizing that the boy needed his rest. The computer on the other hand...he had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well for any of them.

Zim had a bad habit of taking in broken and unwanted things.

* * *

I remember one of you saying how much you loved that last line. Rest assured that I loved it just as much. If you squint you can see a few lines here and there from the original series. Keep in mind I wrote this back when I was a sick and deprived IZ fangirl who had no life. I am now a sick and deprived Whovian fangirl who has no life!

Time really changes people... XD


	3. Another Drone- Family Member

**Edit 3 : *snorts* I really do need to stop editing so much It's getting ridiculous, do you know these comments take up a whole page just about? I still leave them here though, because it's fun to see just how crazy I was two or three years ago... Back when I was at all time insanity...**

**Edit 2 : I edit...so many times..but still. This is getting a major edit, again. Those of you familiar with some of my other stories shouldn't really be that surprised at this. XD I'm keeping the previous author's comments, with some edits, because they amused me. Oh so much. Enjoy! Both the chapter and my insanity!**

**Edit : I am editing all the chapters, so...yeah... Here's the previous author's comments..**

**Okay, so, my last intro to this sucked, I was impatient. Sue me. This chapter is more well thought out though **(Psh, no it wasn't, I was just grasping for straws half the time, in fact, I still am.)**, no spelling errors of any kind, **(A total lie.)**I hope. Let me know if you see 'em, the little devils.**

**Okay, so a few warnings I didn't say last chapter. One, this is ZADR, that means Zim and Dib romance people. Yes, I'm a sick twisted yaoi fangirl **(Still true. So true.)**, don't like than you don't have to read this, it doesn't get ZADR-y till a while though, just to let you know. Another warning, this is AU. I repeat, AU! This is based of a story **(I think I meant 'This is based off of a story'.) **called 'Zim the Protecter?' **(Egades, did they really misspell the title, or was that my fault?) **from jackell. The first chapter is pretty close to theirs, but now this is taking a different turn, going down a Hana to Akuma path really. **(Still is going down a Hana to Akuma path, in case you've ever read the manga. It's not much like the original story I got this idea from anymore though, plus I got a few more details worked out too! XD Plot line here I come! Also, if you haven't read the manga then you should, it's very good!)

**The characters will be OOC, I repeat major OOC, **(Trust me, the OOC monsters be abound.) **I will try to keep them acting like they usally **(Darn those pesky spelling errors.)**would, but if they aren't IC, please don't be mad, I'm trying. **(I really am.) **Um, this chapter has a tiny bit of violence, not much, just a little **(Oh, well, _that _was a lie. And if it wasn't it certainly is now!)**. What am I forgetting now...Hm...I can't remember very well now, drat! It was something important but now I can't remember, how cruel! **(It really was important.)

**Also, THANK YOU! I've gotten a lot of favorite and story alerts, it makes me so happy! You know who you are, so thank you kindly! The warnings for this chapter is, slight violence** (Lie. It's major violence.)**, err, fluffy? **(More like jealously and possessiveness.) **And enraged Zim I guess...**(Try pissed off Zim.) **Oh, and OOC-ness ahead, you've been warned. **(You really have.)

**Disclaimer: ...Need I say it? **(I think the whole _Disclaimer: _thing says it all, don't you?) **I don't own Invader ZiM, **(I do make Jhonen Vasquez sick to his ill-prone belly with my ZaDr love though...) **I don't own Hana to Akuma **(The ending was so sad!),** and if I did.../chuckle/...Let's just say it would be very good if I did... **(I can't even tell what I was thinking back then...it was like...5am and I had gotten no sleep. So...yeah...)

**(Enjoy.)**

**::**

**Chapter Three – Another Drone, I Mean, _ahem_, Family Member**

**::**

"Ngh..." A small groan was the only noise that could be heard in the large underground lab space, apart from the usual noise of humming machinery. Colors of rich maroon and dark pink, with the occasional royal purple, was all that met the weary eyes of a small human boy, along with the occasional flash of steel. "Wha..." The child noticed he couldn't even get any words out, due to the dryness of his throat. He was also a little worried since he couldn't get a very clear look at where he was.

"Ugh..." He felt terrible, not to mention he could hardly see anything. He did notice he was laying on what looked like a padded medical table, or a lab table. He would have sat up if he hadn't lost focus and almost passed out when he tried. He figured it had something to do with the fact he had been living on the streets for quite awhile now and his body had finally started breaking down. It wouldn't surprise him in the least.

"Oh? Zim sees you are finally awake..." Dib's head snapped up as his eyes looked towards where the voice had come from. It had sounded familiar, although he couldn't place it right now what with his mind still being so clouded. He did happen to see a strange green blur, one that looked like it had two red dots on the upper part and black looking sticks on the very top. Needless to say that this confused him even more.

"Where am I..." the boy muttered while sitting up more slowly this time. He noticed that he had what looked to be an IV hooked up to his arm. The needle hurt a little but he didn't really notice considering there was some green-looking humanoid in front of him. It took a few more seconds, and squinting of his eyes, to notice that it had been the person who he had met earlier. Some weird name like... Zim? "Oh...so you really are an alien..."

"Uh...well...you see..." Dib watched as the alien tried to stall, probably to come up with an excuse as to why he was an alien, not that any excuses would fool Dib. He had figured something was rather strange when he had first met a green talking dog. He was past the point of being shocked now, or at least he hoped he was.

"Okay _Zim_, what do you want from me and why am I strapped to a lab table!" If Dib could see he would have noticed that Zim's eyes narrowed and he looked annoyed at the fact that the boy was so high strung, even after waking up from having fainted.

"One, don't sound so superior when calling out Zim's amazing name! And second, you are not strapped to a lab table. It's a medical table. Zim is _trying _to heal your wounds." Zim looked down at his clipboard, which was see-through, as he spoke. It was a purple color and had strange blue writing on it, writing that were far from human.

"Please," Dib scoffed while finally managing to sit up straight and look Zim in the eyes, or at least, where he though the eyes were. He was still having trouble seeing without his glasses on. "Aliens don't help humans. You're probably here to take over the Earth! Aren't you?!"

"Even if Zim was here to take over this pitiful planet it is no concern of yours!" Zim shouted back. Usually he was able to hold his composure better in situations like these...but there was something about this kid that just irked him to no end. Just like that stupid Professor Membrane who was all for Peace on Earth. A ridiculous notion in Zim's opinion.

"Considering this is my planet I believe it is my concern! And on top- what is that?" Dib pointed over Zim's shoulder while sounding confused. Zim was thrown off by the sudden question and actually looked behind him to see what the child was pointing to. He only smirked when he saw it was Gir balancing on his head and giggling strangely. He suppose the boy would be confused considering Gir's disguise was no longer on and the boy's glasses were gone.

"That, my annoying little worm-baby, is Gir. He is my robot minion who seems to have taken a liking to you..." Zim trailed off while watching as Gir giggled before jumping off and going to stand by Zim, grinning in a goofy manner.

"Hm...I guess it was obvious he wasn't a dog, him being green and talking and all," Dib muttered while watching as Gir grinned before running back towards one of the elevators, destroying a few of the drones by accident. Zim was sure that Computer would be angry for that later. "But more to the point, why are you even helping me? I thought your kind would hate humans, seeing us as inferior or something." Zim smirked before sticking a thermometer in the boy's mouth, who looked surprised at the sudden action.

"You're right. Zim is an alien. No point denying it since it's obvious by now...as for why Zim is helping you. Zim doesn't really care for humans, at all. Zim is only helping due to the fact that Gir would be upset if you died. And Zim would rather not deal with an upset Gir."

"I guess that would drive anyone nuts..." Dib replied, slightly grinning as Zim took the thermometer out of the boy's mouth and looked at it. The alien slightly grinned in response, thinking that maybe the human wasn't _that _bad after all. At least, not as bad as most other humans on the pathetic planet.

"Well, you don't look to have a fever," Zim muttered while scribbling some more things down. Dib noticed, even with his limited sight, that Zim wasn't writing in any language that he knew. It didn't even look human, which it probably wasn't now that he thought about it.

"So..." Dib muttered uncomfortably after a few more minutes silence, "You're an alien?" Zim looked up before nodding slowly, wondering why the kid would bring up the subject yet again. "And Gir's actually an advanced robot?" Zim slightly scoffed at the advanced part before he nodded yet again, wondering just where the kid was going with this. Surely no human was this accepting of things like this.

"Is there a point to this?"

"And this is actually your secret base where you plot to take over the Earth?" Zim sighed at the question before nodding once more, figuring that since the kid was accusing him of taking over Earth he might as well just confess. He watched as Dib nodded his head before blinking slowly. "And I'm not dreaming or hallucinating, correct?"

"No..." Zim trailed off while raising his eye ridge and looking slightly confused. Why would the kid ask if he was dreaming or something? It's not like it was _that _hard to believe.

"Ah..." Dib muttered before suddenly collapsing forward. He would have fallen off the bed if Zim hadn't reached forward and caught him in time, slightly in shock at what had happened. Well... Zim supposed that even if the kid was intelligent that the shock would have caught up to him eventually. Now what should he do...

"Aahaha! Big head went nighty-night!" Gir screamed in his high-pitched whine while running in circles, the drones chasing after him with chainsaws and knives. Zim just shook his head at the robots before setting the strange boy back on the bed, wondering why the kid looked so familiar to him even though he was positive he had never seen this kid in his life before.

"Now can we kill him?" Zim sighed roughly while looking towards the screens and consoles a few feet away, noticing how his computer had sounded very happy at the mere thought of killing the kid.

"No Computer. You are not allowed to kill him," Zim sighed before looking back towards the boy, half-wondering what he should do now. He supposed he could keep him here until he woke up again and then explain just what would happen if he told anyone about him being an alien...

"But-!"

"No buts!" Zim shouted, slightly surprised the kid wasn't even moving at all the yelling and screaming going on in the lab. "He will stay here until we figure out what to do with him and what to tell him, so deal with it! Gir! Come! Zim requires your assistance!" As the alien walked away with a dramatic posture Gir followed while giggling insanely. "Computer! No killing the boy!"

"Yes...Master..." the metallic voice grumbled in an irritated tone, as if the words had to be dragged out of his database. He continued muttering very harsh things through his speakers while the screens watched the two head towards the elevators, Zim looking as if he had a brilliant idea.

Computer knew that Zim's ideas usually ended very badly.

::

"Jeez...what happened..." Dib muttered under his breath while slowly sitting up, mindful of the pain his spine was in. He found himself rubbing at his eyes before looking around, or at least trying to. He hated not being able to see, it was infuriating and made him feel slightly helpless. "Jeez...this day just keeps getting worse and worse..."

Stretching out his arms, and trying to get his spine to re-align itself, his hands brushed over cold metal, which slightly surprised him. Picking the object up to look at it closer he was delighted to find out that they were glasses, and they actually looked like his old ones, only brand-new.

"Ah...much better," Dib grinned while pushing the glasses up further, happy that he could finally see where he was without cracks on the glass messing up his vision. He was actually surprised to find out that everything seemed even sharper and clearer than his last pair of glasses. He also saw that he was wearing pajamas and in a large bed. "Well...this is...strange..."

Dib fingered the maroon material, which felt like silk, before noticing that he didn't smell like a trash can. Which was strange since he had become used to the smell. Now he smelled like...well, like nothing. He supposed the alien, Zim, had used some kind of alien soap to make his skin perfectly clean. He didn't even smell like artificial soaps or anything.

Going to scratch the back of his head he was also surprised to notice that he could actually run a hand through his hair without it getting tangled. He supposed that too had been washed since it was somewhat damp. It didn't feel like water though...more like some kind of gel. Dib just shook his head at the mystery before pushing the blanket back and sitting up fully, only wincing a little as his spine protested.

"Well...I guess that alien really did fix me up..." Dib muttered while looking down to see that his wounds had been wrapped with clean white bandages. He also had a vague memory of being woken up for a few seconds before some sort of pain pill was shoved down him. Remembering that he was in fact in the base of a lethal alien invader he looked around, expecting to see some kind of guard, or even Zim himself in the room.

After a few seconds of not seeing anything Dib raised his eyebrow, wondering why he wasn't under a guard and just what time it was. The boy shook his head before climbing out of the bed, noticing that it had a maroon sheet with a light purple blanket. If he was more coherent he probably would have wondered why everything had a red, pink, and purple color scheme. It was slightly concerning.

"I see that you are finally awake," a cold metallic voice clipped before Dib looked around for where the voice had come from. Since there was no one there in the room with him he simply figured it had come from some hidden speaker in the room.

"So I am...and who are you?" Dib didn't mean to sound that rude but he was very tired and still in pain, and that tended to make him rather grumpy. That and the fact he was talking to someone he couldn't see. He never did like that.

"I am Master Zim's computer AI. I help with his many, ah, _projects_ and keep the house in order." Dib slightly wondered what the projects the computer mentioned were but he decided against asking in the end. He had a feeling that he would rather not know what the alien did in his spare time.

"Alright AI...can you tell me why I'm in a room and no one's around?" Dib asked, raising an eyebrow while looking for something he could look at before finally seeing a screen on the opposite wall that had scrolls of text running down it. One side had computer language of zeros and ones while the other side looked to be an alien language. Zim's language if Dib had to guess.

"After you were dragged home by the hell-raising robot you met Master Zim before fainting. He then gave you medical attention before explaining everything to you. You once again passed out, after which Master Zim cleaned you up, bandaged your wounds, and put you up here to rest." Dib partly noticed that the computer sounded angry and annoyed. He probably would have been more interested in the fact that the AI had emotions if he wasn't wondering why the alien had taken such good care of him.

"Ah...that explains some things..." Dib finally muttered while sighing and adjusting his glasses, for lack of anything else to do. He hated not having something to do. After a few more minutes of silence Dib finally sighed before deciding to think on everything once he had more than a few hours sleep. "Hey, what time is it?"

"It is about 1:47 in the morning for this region of Earth," Computer replied in a monotone voice, his sensors becoming very confused when he saw the boy start hyperventilating and tugging at his hair. He also muttered many words that Computer was _certain_ that human smeets should not know. "Is there a reason you are acting insane?"

"I have to get back! He'll kill me if I don't get back!"

"What are you talking about?" Sure Computer didn't like the kid, and he annoyed him, but he didn't want the kid dead. He was sure Zim would dismantle him if he allowed the child to die while under his care.

"I have to get back to that stupid dumpster! If I'm not there he'll track me down and kill me! He'll kill all of us!" Dib hissed, restraining the urge to yell when he remembered that Zim and Gir were probably somewhere in the house. He didn't know if they were asleep or not but he'd rather not be found out. "Do you think you could help me get out of here?"

"What?! What on Irk are you talking about?" If Dib was confused by the strange name he didn't show it, instead he swiveled his head around while looking for a way out. He ran to the door and twisted the knob only to find out it was locked, quite well. Computer watched as the boy muttered a few curses under his breath before heading towards the window, which wasn't locked. "Hey! You can't do that!"

"Sorry AI, I don't have a choice," Dib muttered while jerking the window open and climbing up on the windowsill, quite agile for someone his age. The blast of cold air that entered through the window made him shiver before he threw his legs over, smiling once he saw the tree not too far away. "I suppose I could slide down the tree...if I make the jump that is..."

"You are quite a macabre child..." the computer muttered while it's screens watched in shock as the boy suddenly jumped. Computer could have sworn he almost short-circuited as he watched the boy hang in the air for a few seconds before his arms grabbed the branch and pulled himself up. "Hey! What am I supposed to tell Master Zim?!"

"Tell him thanks!" Dib called back while grunting as he pulled himself up and crawled towards the tree trunk. Stopping for a few seconds he looked back towards the house, calling out one more thing. "And tell him I'm sorry!"

"What?!" Computer almost yelled, just catching himself in time so he didn't wake up his master. After thinking it over for a few seconds he realized this could be a good thing. He could just tell Zim that the boy escaped and there was nothing he could do about it. Now he didn't have to deal with the little brat and everything would be perfectly fine.

So why did he still feel so uneasy?

"Jeez...this is a lot harder than I thought it would be," Dib muttered while inching along the branch, finally reaching the trunk before lowering himself down to the next branch. He managed to let go of the first branch and cling onto the one beneath him before his feet slipped and caused him to fall face first towards the ground.

Resisting the urge to scream out for help Dib forced his eyes open and reached his arm out to grab the first thing his hand touched, which was a branch just a few feet from the ground. Dib could have sworn that his arm was practically ripped out of it's socket before a yelp of pain escaped him. He just manged to bite his tongue to keep the rest of his cursing and screaming in.

"Right...that wasn't so hard..." Dib muttered while dropping down the last few feet, clutching his burning arm while spitting out mouthfuls of blood from where he had bitten his tongue so hard. He walked down the lawn while trying to ignore all the pricks of pain from the splinters in his hand, which he was sure were buried in deep. "Now I just got to get out of here..."

The boy ran down the lawn, looking back at the strange house for a second before biting the inside of his cheek, hoping Zim didn't come after him. Zim had been decent to him and he didn't want the alien to get caught up in his mess. Besides, what would the _alien_ care if he escaped?

::

"HE DID WHAT?!" Computer could have sworn he winced as his master yelled at the top of his squiddly-spooch while Gir just sat humming to himself on the couch as the yelling went on. "Why didn't you stop him?!"

"Well...before I realized it he was already out the door! Or, window in this case..." the computer whined while Zim just fumed some more while glaring at the screen hovering in front of him. The alien had been asleep until a yelp of pain woke him up. He had dismissed it as nothing until he heard branches from the tree falling off.

"How can you not have realized it?! You have sensors in every part of the base! You should have noticed the second he woke up!" After getting the computer to tell him everything that had happened he had been furious. Zim did not like it when humans did things without his permission. The main reason Tony was no longer working under him.

"Well, he was asking the time and having a mild panic attack before yelling about someone going to kill him and us. By the time I had realized it he was already out the window and out of range of anything I could have-"

"What do you mean someone is out to kill him?!" Zim yelled even louder than the first time, causing the computer to idly wonder which microphones and speakers he would have to fix this time. He also realized that he probably shouldn't have told his master that someone was out to kill the kid. It had only been a few hours but already Computer could see that Zim had grown attached to the child.

"Well...I didn't really understand or get any details. He just said if he wasn't back at the dumpster soon someone would kill him..." Computer trailed off, also starting to get a little concerned. Sure the brat was a brat, but even he didn't deserve to get killed. The computer conveniently chose to forget that he had wanted to kill the kid himself not too long ago.

"Computer, when Zim gets back you are going to be running de-bugging programs for a month! Gir! Come on!" Zim screamed while heading towards the front door, not even bothering to grab his disguise.

"Wait! Where are you going, Master?" The screens just watched as Zim jerked the door open, the other hand dragging Gir along by the antenna.

"Zim is going to track down that little brat and bring him back here so Zim can strangle the boy himself!" Zim muttered while sending a glare over his shoulder. Computer was sure if he had a spine a shiver would be running down it, computer AI or not. He also noticed that Gir was yelling something about a puppy smell before the door slammed closed. The base was quiet for a few seconds before the computer sighed roughly to the empty room.

"He's getting too attached..."

::

"Excellent. It looks like I made it just in time!" Dib grinned while panting and standing in front of the dumpster where Gir had first found him. His feet looked to be torn up from running on pavement too hard for so long but he really didn't care. He was just glad he had made it back in time-

"And just where...were you?" Dib paled at the icy voice before thinking that maybe he hadn't made it back in time after all. Turning around Dib saw the tall figure of the man who had stolen him from his _home_ in the first place. He figured he was in for a world of trouble when he saw the look on the man's face.

"I took a walk around the city like I do sometimes...I simply lost track of time and got lost while taking the alleyways back," Dib explained while looking his captor in the eye and resisting the urge to scratch his face. He knew avoiding eye contact and touching his face were the first two signs of obvious lying. Although...the guy was probably too stupid to know the signs of lying anyways.

"Then can you explain why you're wearing new clothes and glasses?" Dib could only swear under his breath as he realized he had left Zim's place without even changing clothes. Even if his pajamas were a little scuffed up from his jump down the tree it was still obvious they were rather new.

"I didn't think it was your business what I wore or where I went as long as I was back by nightfall," Dib smirked while keeping eye contact, only breaking it to gasp in pain when he was jerked up by his arm. It was the same one he was pretty sure was dislocated too.

"Oh, but you see it is my problem. You're a hostage, that means you can't be seen by people. If someone was to recognize you then my whole plan would fail now, wouldn't it?" Dib clenched his teeth at the pain, trying to ignore it. His mind may have been far more advanced than a normal child but his body wasn't.

"You don't have to worry about that," Dib hissed while trying not to show just how much pain he was in. "No one knows I even exist except the Professor, remember? To everyone else I'm just a street rat, and no one cares about street rats." Even as he spoke a voice in the back of his mind told him that maybe that wasn't completely true. After all...hadn't Zim cared? Even if he acted like he hated the brat and had been planning on killing him hadn't the alien patched up his wounds and healed him?

At that moment Dib made his decision. He wouldn't betray Zim.

"Where were you?!" Dib gasped as the man threw him against the brick wall. His body only manged to slide down it a little before a thick hand clasped him around the neck and pressed him against the wall. Dib gasped for breath, trying to get enough air into his lungs even with the hand blocking off most of his windpipe. "Are you forgetting? I own you! You're mine now! Even if Membrane payed up the ransom I wasn't going to give you back! Don't forget...I can kill you anytime I wish...now where were you and who were you with?!"

"Why does it even matter?! They don't even know who I am!" Dib shouted back, instantly regretting it since it was now even harder to breath. His throat was also getting bruised, meaning he would have trouble talking the next day. If he lived that long anyways.

"Because...I have to make sure no one remembers you. If they mention you to someone then eventually it might get back to Membrane...we can't have that now, can we? I need to eliminate all witnesses...I thought you learned that the last time you made friends..." The man grinned while Dib's eyes just looked pained. He did remember. The last time he had gotten lost an old couple had helped him...he still remembered the screams as their house burned down, with them inside.

He would _not _let that happen to Zim and Gir. Not even that annoying computer AI deserved that!

"You aren't getting me to talk..." Dib growled with what little air he had, glaring at the man in front of him. Said man looked slightly shocked before he glared down at the little boy again. "Not anymore..."

"So be it..." Dib grunted as a sudden fist connected with his stomach. He coughed roughly, resisting the urge to vomit and trying to get air in his lungs even with the hand still choking him. He tasted some blood in his mouth and could have sworn that he heard the sound of bones breaking. That probably meant he had a broken rib or two. Great.

It didn't matter though. He wouldn't talk. Dib remembered sitting by that dumpster everyday, watching people go by and noticing how not even one of them spared a glance at him. They all just walked by, on their way to work or their own families. Dib had almost given up hope and was thinking of killing himself off when he had met Gir. That was when he decided to live just a little longer.

He knew that Gir wasn't normal. He was a green dog and he talked...how could that ever be normal? Even though he knew it wasn't normal though Dib didn't care. He wasn't exactly normal himself anyways.

Gir had been the first living, in lack of a better term, thing to actually approach Dib. The first to talk to him, even if the dog hadn't made much sense half the time. He had even brought him food...although most of it wasn't edible it did keep him from starving to death.

Then Gir had dragged him home that day, saying his master wanted to meet him. Then he had met Zim...an actual alien. He didn't know why he wasn't more freaked out...he just felt so happy that someone had seen past the dirty street rat. Saw an actual human being for once instead of a dirty thing on the side of the street. The alien had even taken care of him and bandaged his wounds.

So no. He wouldn't betray the two.

"You little bastard! Tell me who tried to hide you from me!" Dib noticed that the man seemed to be getting more and more unhinged, which was a little amusing to watch. Thinking it over for a second Dib jut looked over at the man before smirking and chuckling to himself.

"Or what? You'll kill me? Go ahead...I've been wishing for death for some time now..." Dib muttered while smirking again, laughing even more when the man looked like he had finally snapped.

"Oh no...I won't kill you..." the man muttered softly while looking Dib in the eyes, who for the first time was afraid of the man. "I won't kill you..." As he said this again he let go of Dib's throat before grabbing his hurt arm again. Dib gasped for breath while wincing at the pain in his arm. A split second later and he was slammed against the ground, biting down a yelp of pain when a heavy boot was slammed on his chest, a crunch of bone along with the grunt of pain.

Well there went another rib.

"I won't kill you...but you'll be begging for death after I'm done with you..." Dib was positive that the man had now snapped. He wasn't too surprised though, he had seen this coming ever since he was first stolen from the lab. A sudden kick in his side made him cough up blood before being rolled over on his stomach.

This time the boot was slammed down into his head, pieces of glass from his now broken glasses digging into his cheeks and forehead. He supposed it was better than the glass shards digging into his eye- Oh wait...no. He was pretty sure one of his eyes was bleeding as well.

"You belong to me now! Do you understand?! You are mine! I will make you _learn _why you are supposed to fear me! I will- AAHH!" Dib was listening to the man's speech in a somewhat bored manner, hoping he would just die already, before he heard a scream of pure pain and terror from the man. Dib was even more surprised when the boot was removed form his head.

Sitting up quickly, and instantly regretting it, Dib looked all around for what had happened. He realized that he was having a hard time moving, his spine having been damaged from either being slammed into the brick wall or the pavement. Even without his glasses, which were now laying broken on the ground aside from the few glass pieces that were digging into the skin, he could still see some blurs.

The blur he was most interested in was the green and silver one. He manged to make out some red and pink smudges with some long and spider-like metal things holding the green blur up. It took a few seconds to realize that the green blur couldn't be anything, or anyone, other than Zim. What other green thing could move? He also noticed the two red dots, which were now more like orbs. And they looked pissed.

::

"What is that brat doing?!" Zim hissed under his breath while staring at the scene below him, Gir and himself resting on the building that was overlooking the dumpster. It had taken quite a while to get here due to Gir's horrible sense of direction and side-tracked mind. "He should have just run away...or even better not have come here in the first place!"

Zim didn't even notice that his fists were slowly dripping blood, his nails having dug into his palms even through the black gloves he always wore. "Hmph...foolish human smeet... Gir! Follow Zim..._quietly_," Zim hissed the last part before four thin, metal spider-shaped legs emerged from his PAK. Slowly standing up Zim used the legs to lift himself into the air and climb down the building, very silently.

By the time the two reached the bottom Zim eyes were glowing with rage and something very primal. At this point the man, who Zim had recognized as being on wanted posters and lists around the underground even as a rogue scientist, was digging his boot into Dib's head. The alien was able to see that Dib was rather beat up, and he reeked of blood. There was probably internal bleeding even.

Well, nothing that couldn't be fixed with irken technology. All that mattered right now though was stopping that man and getting his revenge. With that thought in mind Zim leaped forward with his spider legs, grinning insanely when he heard the screams of pain as one of the legs punched through his body all the way to the other side. Of course Zim had avoided the major organs, he wanted to have some fun first...

"Are you okay, Mary?" Zim barely glanced back as Gir walked over to Dib with a tilt to his head, Dib struggling to stay sitting up. He also looked confused and slightly surprised to see that the two were there. He had been positive that the two wouldn't have even cared enough to follow him. Finally realizing what Gir had asked Dib just sighed before shaking his head.

"Gir...for the last time my name is not Mary. It's Dib, remember?" The boy felt it was a lost cause when Gir just smiled widely before laughing crazily.

"Oh yeah!" Dib was slightly surprised that the little robot could draw out two words for so long. After a few seconds Dib turned towards the fight, slightly surprised that Zim was going so overboard with attacking. A quick punch to the stomach threw the alien off balance long enough for the man to pull out a small black device. Zim tensed up when he noticed Dib looked like he had just been told he was going to be killed.

"You want the brat so bad? Then you can take him with you in pieces!" The man cackled loudly before pressing the button on the box, still laughing when nothing seemed to happen. Gir continued humming his song while Zim just raised an eye ridge, looking smugger than Dib had ever thought possible.

"Was that supposed to do something, human?" The man sputtered as he looked from the device to Dib, wondering what had gone wrong.

"Impossible! That was supposed to-"

"Blow the child up?" Zim grinned again, although this time it was far from pleasant. "You mean that bomb you planted inside of him that Zim removed?"

"He removed it..." Dib muttered while looking down at his now dirty bandages. He supposed the bomb would have been shown if Zim did a full-body scan with some kind of high-tech alien device. Still, it was surprising he actually took the time to remove it instead of leaving it there. Dib glanced back at the fight, sticking out his tongue in disgust at the mess that was left behind. It looked like one of the man's arms had been torn off and he had already vomited. Twice.

"Gir..." Dib trailed off while looking over, surprised when Gir pulled a purple blanket from his head and wrapped it around him. He also noticed that the blanket had been from his, no, _the _bed he had woken up in. "Uh...thanks..." Dib trailed off while trying not to move, noticing for the first time just how much pain he was in. "Gir, why are you guys here?"

"Because! Mastah said what's his is his!" Gir explained before sitting down and giggling again. Dib just raised an eyebrow at the explanation, which didn't really explain anything or make much sense. At all. Dib just shook his head before looking back over at Zim, who was now bent over and hissing something very low. It was quiet enough in the alley though that even Dib could hear what was being said.

"You got one thing wrong you filthy human... The Dib is _mine_! And _no one _takes what is Zim's!" Dib watched Zim scream the last part while raising a clenched fist to the sky before jumping back at the man, who was now screaming in pain even louder.

"Wow..." Dib muttered under his breath while watching one of the guy's legs go flying, "He's really mad..."

"Oi, smeet..." Dib looked up shocked to see that an angry-looking Zim was standing over him. He glanced over at the man who had been the cause of most of his problems to see he was now freely bleeding on the street, and had a few limbs missing. And an eye. And a head. And Dib thought he even saw a heart. "You are mine now, understand? That means no more running away!"

Dib just nodded while watching Zim glare some more before standing back up. Sure he had stood up to the alien before but he figured it would be best to hold off on the smart retorts until Zim cooled down a little. That and Dib really didn't wanna end up looking like road-kill.

After seeing the child nod, quite quickly, Zim flashed a zipper-toothed grin before pulling the boy into his arms and wrapping the blanket more tightly around him. Dib seemed surprised as Zim's grin faded into something a little softer. "Good. Now let's go home..."

::

"So..." Dib trailed off, trying to start a conversation with the alien who had just rescued him. After being thrown into an alien spacecraft Zim had started the vehicle up before heading back towards his base. Silence had been reigning for a few minutes now, unless you counted Gir's doom song. "Uh...so-"

"Professor Membrane?" It was barely said but Dib caught it all the same. Eager to actually talk about something, and distract himself from the pain, Dib nodded while sitting up a little straighter. He instantly regretted it when he winced and almost cried out from the pain in his spine.

"Yeah. He's the man who made me." Zim looked over a little confused before raising one of his eye ridges.

"What do you mean made?" Dib looked slightly confused before trying to elaborate, half-watching Gir balance on his head and moon the humans beneath them. The fact that they were cloaked and couldn't be seen didn't really matter to Gir.

"Well...he made me. Cloned me to be specific..." Zim made a slight noise before grinning, which confused Dib since he didn't think the alien would know about the Professor.

"So that's why you look so familiar..." Zim muttered, remembering all the pictures of the Professor he had seen when first doing research on Earth. In retrospect he should have figured it out sooner, not many humans had scythe-shaped hair after all. "Computer! You said Membrane's AI was talking about a missing project, right?"

"Yes..." Dib noticed that the computer sounded upset and a little cross. He probably figured it was something to do with him sneaking out when the computer was supposed to be watching him. "The AI said that it had been an important project that had gone missing or was stolen the day it was declared stable..."

"The AI must have been speaking of you..." Zim trailed off while sighing before rubbing the back of his neck, a habit he had picked up from being around the humans for so long. "So you're a clone...what happened?" Dib figured the alien was speaking about why he had been living in a dumpster and why that man had been tormenting him.

"I was stolen the day the Professor was supposed to declare me a success. The lab was broken into and the Professor knocked unconscious before he could call any security or activate the weapons. The man was a former scientist that the Professor had fired for some reason, dangerous experiments I think.

"The man told me I would be a hostage after I woke up with a bomb planted in me. He then dropped me off at the dumpster and said not to talk to anybody or ask for help. The last people who had helped me..."

"Things went wrong?" Zim asked when the boy went silent. Dib simply nodded his head before looking down at his lap, deciding that silence would be better than talking about what had happened to him. "So why did you never run away back to Membrane? He could have easily removed the bomb from you." Dib stayed silent after the question, Zim figuring that the question would probably stay unanswered for a while yet.

"Why did you help me?" The question seemed to slightly startle Zim, since he hadn't expected the boy to say anything else after his last question. A few more seconds of silence was heard, not counting Gir's doom song, before Zim gave his answer.

"Because you are now Zim's." Dib looked up in slight shock when he heard the answer, expecting a much more detailed answer instead of five little words. And yet...why did those words make him so happy Dib wondered...

::

"What now..." Dib muttered softly under his breath while glancing towards the door. He had been thrown back into his room after an hour in the medical bay. Apparently he had quite a few wounds and it had taken some time to heal, even by irken standards. He was also impressed that Zim had even managed to fix his eye, which would have been impossible with human technology.

Dib was a little mad that Zim had locked the door even more heavily after his last escape. As for the window...it now had an eternity code locking system placed on it, which Dib thought was a little bit overkill. And as if that wasn't enough he had even placed Gir outside the door and put Computer on security mode.

"Jeez...doing things without even considering other people," Dib muttered while looking out the window as he sat up in bed. His spine was still a little sore but other than that he barely felt hurt at all. He certainly wouldn't have believed he was on the verge of death an hour or so ago. "Now how am I supposed to leave..." Dib muttered. Sure Dib liked it here...but he couldn't stay.

If he stayed then just more people would come after him, to try and use him against the Professor. And this time if Zim got caught up in the mess even more would be at stake. He was an alien, he would be in a vivisection and even dissected and everything...there was no way Dib could do that to Zim, who had done so much for him.

"So...now the question is...how do I escape..."

* * *

I remember a long time ago, years ago, that someone commented and asked why it would be bad if Dib stayed with Zim. So I elaborated on that from Dib's point of view, so it makes more sense. Hopefully you'll see that this is going somewhere, although where I'm not too sure as of yet. Oh! I am working with the whole spine pain thing. It's leading into something, trust me on that one.


	4. Here We Go Again

****So here we have the first new chapter in...what? Two, three years. *checks dates* Yes, about two. You should be aware that I have completely redone this story and replaced the first three chapters, so you should go back and read those for this to make any sense. *rereads past author's comments* Man...I was crazy two years ago...

Now, here's the new chapter and I hope you enjoy this story! I would have just taken it down and deleted it but I didn't. Just for those 15 followers who were crazier than Zim to actually put some interest in this story. So, thank you for having hope in me and this story, I hope you enjoy the rewrite!

You won't be able to comment on the first three chapters, since they're just being replaced. But you WILL be able to comment on this one! So tell me what you think and enjoy! And no. This isn't a late April Fool's Day joke...although it would have made a good one if I had thought to do it. XD

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Here we go again...**

**::**

"So! Zim will only be gone for a few of your pathetic earth hours. That means no snooping around Zim's lower base, no running away, and don't let Gir make any more waffles...not after last time..." The alien shuddered just thinking of last time the little robot had been in charge of cooking. He had managed to summon half of hell's demons to the kitchen...it had taken hours to get them all out...and even then Zim didn't think the kitchen would ever be the same again.

Dib just nodded his head while trailing behind the alien. Usually he was a talkative child but he felt really uneasy around Zim today, mainly for the reason he was planning on how to run away. Again. Zim just looked back at the child before frowning slightly, grabbing his wig and tugging it on.

"Zim supposes that covers everything..." Zim muttered while putting his contacts in, slightly wincing at the scratchiness as he did so. "The black markets shouldn't take too long to check up on...at least Ellie has the US markets under control..."

"Ellie?" Dib asked, instantly wincing once he spoke up in his slightly scratchy voice, which was due to where he hadn't talked all day so far. Zim turned around, slightly surprised that the boy had finally spoken, before nodding his head in confirmation.

"She's in charge of all the United States black markets...she's quite ruthless actually..." Zim trailed off while Dib just nodded absently, wondering just where he had heard that name before. It sounded very familiar for some reason...

"Well...Zim supposes that's it..." Zim muttered, looking uncomfortable as he placed his hand on the door before turning the knob. "Ah! Computer!" Dib watched as Zim looked over at a purple screen with floating blue symbols on it, which was where he usually looked when addressing the AI.

"Yes?" Dib winced as he heard the computer answer in a way that seemed to just radiate hatred. He could have sworn he was being glared at as well.

"No kill- ahem...uh..." A few seconds after cutting himself off Zim spoke back up in a rough language that made no sense to Dib. It took a while for the child to figure out that must have been Zim's native alien language. "Understand?"

"Yes Master..." the computer trailed off, an icy tone in it's voice. Dib was starting to understand why the Professor never gave his AI emotions...it looked like it would lead to nothing but trouble.

"Excellent!" Zim grinned before heading out the door, Dib wondering just what had been said. For some reason he had a feeling it had to do with him. It was only a few seconds later that Dib realized living in Zim's base was a challenge all it's own.

"IMMA MAKE WAFFLES!" Dib could have sworn the whole base dropped twenty degrees as Gir screamed and laughed and ran into the kitchen, Dib paling as he watched. He remembered the food Gir had brought him while he lived at the dumpster...while the part that was edible kept him alive most of it had...things crawling out of it. They had looked like tentacles... Surely Gir couldn't really summon hell while cooking, right? "HI TENTACLE!"

Then again...

"Gir! Wait! Zim said not to make any more waffles!" Dib yelled while running into the kitchen, spotting Gir standing on a stool while stirring a bowl of waffle mix. In the few seconds Dib hadn't been watching the kitchen looked like hell itself. There was a mess everywhere and tentacle...things... "Um...AI? Is this normal?"

"Sadly..." the computer grumbled before sending out the Waffle Drone Force. Computer had specificity made these four drones to combat Gir's waffle-making abilities. Dib was slightly impressed by how well they were combating against the tentacles. Looking around the kitchen some more Dib noticed that there was one clean area, which was where one of Computer's screens were.

"I didn't think it was possible to summon creatures from hell..." Dib mumbled while sitting down beneath the screen and watching the whole scene. It looked like something from a movie, especially with Gir's creepy singing. He could have sworn the computer was nodding, even if he had no clue how that was possible.

"I hadn't thought it was possible either...it seems as if lately though I've been proven wrong quite often..." Dib shivered as he felt another glare. He had a good feeling it was the AI, even if he had no clue how the thing was glaring at him. He supposed that he deserved a little of the computer's hate, but not as much as he had been feeling.

"Is there a reason you hate me so much?" Dib never was one to beat around the bush. He liked clear and precise answers and he liked them quickly. "I mean...I understand you holding a grudge for me running away when you were in charge of guarding me and all...but surely you couldn't hate me that much for that reason alone?" Dib glanced up at the computer screen, which instead of having scrolling text was blank.

Dib was silent, waiting for the AI's answer, as he watched the scene around the kitchen. The Waffle Force was staring to get overpowered, and the demons were close to winning. It seemed that the drone with the most damage, which was shaped somewhat like a monkey, stood up slowly, growling towards the tentacles. A sudden extended arm punched the lead tentacle, sending it flying back.

"I don't...hate you..." The AI finally muttered lowly, drawing Dib's attention away from the fight and back towards him. "Not entirely...while I am mad at you for sneaking out...I'm more worried than anything..."

"Worried? About what?" Dib raised an eyebrow while looking up, seeing the Waffle Force troops rally together out of the corner of his eye. It seemed they were making a comeback as they beat the tentacles back towards a swirling portal of dark energy.

"Master Zim...he...is quite different from others of his race..." Computer seemed hesitant to speak about it but in the end he decided to trust the little human. Maybe the kid _could _help. "His race is known as the irken, he used to be in the military of his race."

"Really?" Dib asked, slightly astonished. "I didn't really take Zim for the military type...what was he? Solider, General, Major-"

"An invader." Dib suddenly seemed to freeze as the words sunk in. The two words sounded innocent enough...yet why did they seem to make him so afraid?

"An...invader? What are they?" Computer seemed silent for a moment, as if collecting his thoughts and slightly tapping into his database.

"I suppose...in simple terms invaders are the ones who are sent out to surrounding planets. They invade the planet, as their name suggests, and get it ready for conquest by the Irken Armada. Many times the invaders don't need the armada and are able to completely subjugate the planet on their own..."

"So...why isn't he an invader anymore?" Dib asked while drawing his knees up and resting his hands on top. "He seems really proud of himself...I don't see him voluntarily quitting something that would bring him so much glory. I mean, invaders sound like the heroes of...what was it? The irkens?"

"They are. All invaders are seen as heroes of Irk, the home planet of the Irken race, or at least, it was the home planet of the irkens..."

"Was?"

"It got blown up..." Computer made a slight coughing noise, at seeing Dib's confused look he continued. "Master Zim was quite eager as an invader and... Well, he somehow blew up his home planet."

"He destroyed his home planet...all by himself?" After the computer made a slight noise of agreement Dib just sat in silence for a while, thinking of what he had been told so far. "Yeah...that sounds like Zim... So what does this have to do with you hating me? Or, being worried as you said."

"Well...after that incident Master Zim was banished to serve as what you humans would call a fast food worker." Dib winced at the job description, thinking that nothing could be worse. "Of course after a while he escaped. We came here, in hopes of not being found and killed. Once we arrived Master Zim decided to take over this planet and make it a peace offering..." Dib nodded, seeing the logic behind it.

Although it wasn't a very good plan...

"I'm worried because if Master Zim is found out I don't think he would be able to escape...he wasn't the _best _of invaders. In fact I believe there was a celebration thrown after his banishment..." Dib winced while sitting back and thinking how it must feel, to have your whole race hate and mock you.

"So you're worried that I'll somehow get Zim found out and taken in for research...you know he would kill you if he heard you saying he's not strong enough to escape?" Dib just grinned when he heard a chuckle from the computer.

"I suppose...maybe you're not so bad after all..."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Dib grinned before slightly frowning and watching the Waffle Force Drones celebrate their victory with Gir's waffles, which were now done. "You don't have to worry AI...even if I'm captured and taken somewhere else no one would believe me. And even if they did I would never tell about you guys. Besides, Earth needs a good wake-up call. Maybe various take-over-the-world plans would be good..."

"Big-head boy! Eat my waffles! They have waffles in 'em!" Dib just raised an eyebrow before looking up at the computer screen, which showed a picture of a thumbs up sign. Dib just shook his head before accepting the plate and taking a bite, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Wow Gir! These are actually good! The last waffles you made had soap in them..." Dib muttered while eating another bite, which was drenched in syrup. Computer noticed that Dib seemed to have just a big a sweet tooth as Zim, which was quite a shock in itself.

"Hm...it's looks like the Waffle Force actually survived this time..." Computer muttered while watching the drones retreat back into the storage area. The monkey one seemed most proud of itself, and for some reason had a strawhat on it's head. "Maybe I should update the monkey one..."

"Why a monkey anyways?" Dib muttered around a full mouth of waffles. The computer just made a pondering noise upon hearing the question.

"I'm not too sure. It just felt right." Dib chuckled before going back to his waffle, grabbing a nearby bottle of syrup and drowning his waffles in it. If the computer had a stomach he was sure it would be turning at the thought of someone eating something that sweet. He wasn't even sure if Zim could eat something like that. "Leave it to him to find the one creature with a bigger sweet tooth than him..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

::

"I'm bored..." Gir whined while hanging upside down on the couch, Dib on the floor and going through various engineering books that he had found laying around. He also found a poster of the man who had kidnapped him, it was now graffited quite heavily and looked ridiculous.

"I think that's the most intelligent thing he has ever said..." Computer muttered while sighing, sounding worn out and bored as well. Dib just rolled his eyes at the exaggeration, going back to coloring through another wanted poster. He was stuck as to whether use red or black for the horns.

"I'm sure Gir's not that...never mind..." Dib muttered, thinking of all the times Gir had visited him. Sure he liked the little robot but he could be quite ridiculous at times. "Have you tried rewiring his circuit boards or reprogramming him or something?"

"...I don't think he has one to being with..." Computer muttered, Dib swearing he could feel the AI's eye twitching in annoyance. "If he does then it's broken beyond all repair..."

"You're just pessimistic," Dib sighed before walking over to Gir, turning him around and opening the top of his head. "Stay still Gir. If you move you might end up electrocuting and killing me."

"At least I'm not a macabre little child," Computer muttered while watching Dib rummage around through Gir's head, who was too bored to really do anything. A few seconds later Gir powered down, his lights going gray as Dib looked surprised before looking towards his hand, which was full of junk.

"You're kidding me...it's nothing but trash...there's lint, a paperclip, two coins, a screw, and...a gumball?" Dib muttered while looking back to Gir before pulling something else out of his head. He then yelped and threw it across the room.

"What? What's wrong?!" Computer seemed surprised when Dib just shuddered and started muttering something about evil piggies. "What?"

"They're evil...EVIL!" Computer sighed, sure he would be shaking his head if he had one. Just how did Zim find creatures like this? First Gir and now Dib...surely Zim's luck couldn't be that horrible, right? "THEY DESTORY YOU AND YOUR LIFE! KILL THE PIGGIES!" Then again...

"So...what about Gir?" Dib seemed to snap out of whatever spell he had been in before looking back over to Gir. "Are you saying he was stupid all this time because he never had a proper brain?"

"Well...that seems to be the case..." Dib muttered while tipping Gir upside down, which was slightly hard due to his small height. "That and his head is full of useless junk..." Computer just sighed at seeing what was coming out of Gir's head, most of it being things that made little to no sense. Like a tea cup. And a beehive. "Wait...beehive... AAH!"

If someone had walked in right then they would have been surprised by the scene. Dib was running around the room, trying to avoid being killed by the bees. Meanwhile Computer was freaking out, text quickly running across his screen at hyper speeds while sending out the battle drones. Gir was as lifeless as ever, though there was a strange smile on his face.

"I...hate...bees..." Dib panted while laying collapsed on the floor, the drones going back to storage after destroying all bees, even going so far as to burn their bodies. Computer was almost sure that Zim wouldn't notice the burn marks in the floor. At least he didn't think he would... "Now I see...why you never...changed Gir's...circuits..."

"Well...really it's because we never bothered. We knew they sent us a defective model but Master Zim warmed up to him so there was really no need to fix him. As long as he didn't give away the mission and all."

"Ah..." Dib muttered while sitting up, wincing at the pain in his spine. He hated that, it had been hurting since before he was stolen from the lab. He wondered why Zim's irken healing technology hadn't fixed that yet... "Well, looks like Gir's brain is now finally empty!"

"You're acting like it was full in the first place," Computer muttered, earning a laugh from Dib before he brushed his hair back, the scythe going back into place. "So now what? Put a circuit board in there?"

"We could...but then it just wouldn't be Gir...we could design a remote that would make him more serious I suppose..." Dib muttered while looking at the _brain _he had pulled out of Gir. How was it even possible Gir was moving? "Hm... Do you have a universal remote or something?"

"Like this?" Computer asked before a metal hand came out of the wall and tossed Dib a remote control, which looked far more advanced than anything humans were using. "Why do you need it?"

"Maybe we can sync it up to Gir's thought waves," Dib grinned while fiddling with a few controls before putting the various pieces of junk back into the SIR unit. Gir continued laying there for a few more seconds before jumping up and saluting, his usual teal spots glowing a bright red.

"Gir! Reporting for duty!"

"Eh...what's the G stand for?" Dib titled his head while looking at the robot, Computer slightly surprised that Dib had asked the exact same question Zim had when first receiving Gir.

"I don't know..." And there goes the crazy SIR unit... While Dib and Computer watched Gir bang his head into objects, a tentacle left over from the kitchen war slowly crawled towards the three. When Computer finally noticed the thing it was too late.

"Hey! Let go of me you freak!" Dib shouted while trying to wiggle free out of the grip the purple tentacle had him in. Gir hardly seemed to notice anything was going on while Computer was already sending out the battle drones and Waffle Force. It didn't take long for the loser to be thrown against the wall and almost be shattered to pieces. "How are they so weak now?!"

"Because they fought bees and tentacles before this! They haven't had time to recuperate!" Computer shouted while metal hands came out of the wall to poke all the drones, which were incapacitated and didn't look like they would be moving anytime soon. "I'm sure the situation is not as bad as it seems..."

"HOW IS THIS NOT BAD?! IT'S DRAGGING ME DOWN TO HELL!" Dib screamed while the tentacle inched it's way across the floor, carrying Dib and looking very much like an inchworm. "IT'S TERIRRLBE!"

"I suppose you could call it that..." Computer muttered while sending out some of the cleaning bots, hoping they would be enough to defeat the tentacle. Gir just sat on the floor and watched the drones and tentacle battle, the drones being quite weak compared the awesome power of the tentacle, which seemed to be making a laughing noise. "HOW IS IT SO STRONG?!

"I DON'T KNOW JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I'M KILLED!" Dib shouted, trying to wiggle free before yelping as the tentacle tightened around him. His spine was now screaming out in pain as he gasped for breath. "Come on Dib...think quick or you'll be dead..." Looking around the room, and trying to spot something to help him, Dib noticed that Gir was sitting on the floor watching everything.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SO WEAK?!" Computer shouted as yet two more drones crashed against the walls. Gir just giggled at all the shouting before looking up when he heard his name called.

"Hey Gir! Gir! If you help me out of here then I'll...um...I'll give you some tacos!" Why Dib said tacos he had no idea but it seemed to work as the lights on Gir's body suddenly turned a dark red, his eyes narrowing.

"What are you doing?! Do you really think-"

"Understood!" Gir saluted before using his jet feet to fly over to the tentacle, stepping on it just right to release Dib before grabbing the boy and jumping back. "Mission: Send creature back to home planet." Dib and the computer watched in fascination as Gir quickly and soundly defeated the tentacle before throwing it back into the portal to hell, somehow managing to close even that.

"Wow..." Dib muttered before Gir saluted again as he stood in front of Dib.

"Mission accomplished...now..." Gir looked menacing for all of five seconds before his eyes went back to teal and he screamed and laughed loudly. "Where's my tacos?!"

"Uh...tacos...right...at the store?" Dib half-asked as Gir screamed in delight before grabbing his dog costume, slipping it on, and rushing out the door. Dib noticed for the first time that Gir could actually wag his tail, which was a mystery in itself. "Hm...I can't believe that actually worked."

"It is rather surprising..." Computer muttered while staring out the open door, sounding slightly bemused.

"Well...that killed most of the day!" Dib smiled while standing up and brushing off his pajamas, which had been patched up after last night. Computer just sighed before turning his screen towards Dib, who looked quite proud of himself as he walked over to the drones. "Now...just how messed up are these..."

"Quite messed up."

"Hm...have any tools?"

::

"I'm exhausted..." Dib muttered while laying flat out on the floor. Computer seemed to agree and was slightly impressed that Dib had fixed all of the drones. Even the monkey one that was the most difficult to fix. "I don't even think I can move after all that..."

"I'd be surprised if you could. You may have the mind of the Professor himself, being his clone, but you still have the body of, what, a six-year-old?" Dib just grunted at the question, turning around before moaning at the movement.

"My spine...it burns..." Dib whined while sticking his tongue out, causing Computer to roll his non-existent eyes.

"I'm sure it's not that bad...oh!" Dib looked up at the screen, surprised at the sudden note of amazement. "It seems the Professor's AI is back in the chat room."

"You talk in a chat room with other super AI's?" Dib asked while raising an eyebrow, watching scrolls of text run across the screen.

"Well, the ones who aren't complete idiots. And Professor Membrane's happens to be the most intellectual on the planet, even if it is somewhat behind by irken standards."

"The Professor's?" Dib asked, sounding slightly scared as he looked at the screen. Computer didn't seem to notice as he continued talking about the AI.

"Yup. This AI is where we learned about you, the Professor's missing project. It seems he's starting to put out search parties, and even created a program to specifically search for you. It's quite impressive I must say. Hm...it's probably only a matter of time before he finds you... I actually think I would miss you if you left! It's nice to have someone to talk to that knows about electronics and engineering and- Hey! What are you doing? Dib!"

Dib had zoned out around the time Computer mentioned the program designed to search for him. It took only a few seconds to realize that the Professor wouldn't be fooled by Zim's _skin condition_. He had to get out of here. Before he and Zim got discovered.

"Saving you," Dib replied before heading towards the kitchen, looking for the elevator to the lab he knew was around there somewhere.

"Saving...what are you talking-"

"WHO WANTS TACOS?!" Gir screamed while running through the still open door, both Dib and the computer turning to look at him. He was currently holding about fifteen tacos, and seemed to have even more in his head. Dib just smirked before looking at the piece of rope one of the drones had left behind.

"You wouldn't dare..." Computer muttered, Dib feeling the force of a glare. The boy just smirked before picking up the rope, testing it's strength before looking at Gir and grinning.

"That's where you're mistaken, AI..." Dib chuckled while advancing towards Gir. Gir just tilted his head while snacking on one of his many tacos.

"Whatcha doin' Mary?" Dib just chuckled in reply before jumping towards Gir, which surprised Computer. He didn't think the kid would actually tie up the SIR. "Is this a game?"

"Yes Gir. It's precisely a game," Dib smiled before fixing the last knot, slightly grinning as he did so. He may have been only three feet tall and a few years old but he could still outwit his opponents. He was also quite good at his knot-tying skills. "To win you have to sit here and do nothing, okay?"

"Kay!" Gir screamed while the computer felt like shaking his non-existent head side-to-side. Surely there was no creature in the universe that was this stupid... "But...how am I gonna eat my tacos?!" Then again...

"You may have tied up Gir but you won't get me that easily!" Computer shouted while sending a command towards the drones, who all came out in full force. Of course instead of the usual kill command Computer sent a capture without hurting command. Sure the kid had annoyed him at first...but he was pretty okay in the end.

"Sorry AI, the drones aren't gonna work," Dib grinned while walking past all the drones, who just seemed to ignore him. Computer seemed shocked before Dib started explaining again. "While fixing them all I inserted a loyalty chip. They will follow orders from you, Zim, Gir, and me and will never hurt or turn against any one of us. Even if they're reprogrammed! I didn't think it would come in handy for this kind of situation though..."

"Impressive..." Computer muttered grudgingly under his breath. Even if he was mad he had to admit that was a pretty good idea for the kid to have done that. Zim had quite a few enemies, many of them being irken. Making it to where the drones could never forget their loyalty was quite impressive...it did tick the computer off though. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"Going down," Dib grinned while climbing into the trash can where he had finally found an elevator to the underground part of the base. He started to get slightly distracted from his mission when he thought of all the amazing things down there. Everything there was alien and nothing like it had been seen on Earth...he could just imagine the possibilities... "Whoa...focus Dib!"

The focus was immediately destroyed when the whoosing sound of the elevator faded to reveal all the alien machinery that was separated from Dib by a thin see-through tube. Dib could have sworn that there was a rhythm to the machinery, one that made him smile even wider than before. He was having trouble remembering why he had even come down...

As the elevator finally slowed to a stop Dib stepped out to see a large desk accompanied by a large plush chair. Papers and blueprints surrounded the messy area, along with pieces of machinery scattered about. Some looked like rough ideas while others looked like they had been almost completed.

"Hey! Master Zim said you were not allowed in the lower parts of the base!" Computer's voice seemed to shock Dib out of his amazement of the place. Dib just shook off the feelings of awe before heading towards the chair and taking a seat, surprised at how amazingly comfy it was. The plush red velvet just seemed to pull you in and relax you... Dib could hardly even feel the pain in his spine anymore... "Do I have to call Master Zim back here?! You're starting to worry me..."

"Sorry, but you won't be doing that," Dib muttered, eyes narrowing. He had snapped out of his wonder at hearing the threat of Zim being called. Looking down at the keyboard Dib saw that they were alien symbols but a holographic English letter was floating over each of the keys. "Well this just makes my job easier..."

"What are you- hey...what are you doing... Dib!" Dib just smirked as he hacked his way past all the firewalls. It seemed not even Zim's irken technology could keep him out. He had to wonder if it was because Zim was the outcast of his race or if it was just irken technology in general. If he had to guess it would have been the former.

"Sorry about this AI, you really are a great person, um...computer program...you know what I mean," Dib muttered before looking back towards the screen, all the firewalls almost hacked. "But it's safer if you and Zim stay out of my life. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I dragged you guys into it... So please don't be mad..."

"Wha-?! What are you talking about! Sure you can be a little annoying...but you're a good kid! And Master Zim agrees! I'm sure whatever it is that you're going through podemos conseguir que todo salio bein... Eh? No me digas que...estoy...hablando en español..."

"Si," Dib slight smirked at the now Spanish speaking computer, "Sorry. I had to cut your communication lines so you wouldn't call Zim. Having only your Spanish database left seemed like a good little payback for being so rude to me in the beginning. No offense. Just a little harmless fun..." Dib grinned while listening to the computer sputter for a few seconds in shock.

"Hey! No creo que nos pueden dejar asi!" Dib just rolled his eyes while walking back towards the elevator, trying to think on just where he could go next. Maybe he could go back to the Professor...the only thing he really dreaded is that the Professor had treated him like a science experiment instead of as a human or son...well...he guessed he really was nothing but a science experiment in the end...

Dib stepped out of the trashcan as he continued thinking about where he wanted to go, passing a tied up Gir who was trying to eat his tacos still. Dib just shook his head, slightly smiling as he walked back to the still open door. He would be sad leaving these guys behind...they were starting to be like a family to him...

"Ha...family..." Dib muttered under his breath, low enough for it to go unheard by the whining SIR and the yelling computer. "I don't even know what family is...so how could these guys be it..." Dib shook his head before walking out the door, looking back one last time. "Sorry Zim...thanks for taking care of me though..."

::

"Something's wrong..." Zim muttered to himself while walking back towards his base. He had started walking after having to park the voot curiser in an abandoned warehouse so as to not arouse suspicion. Besides, the walk gave him some valuable Earth spying time. Although for some reason the walk today was just making him more and more anxious. "Something is very wrong..."

Zim didn't very often feel the feeling that things were wrong. In fact in almost never happened...but when it did it turned out to be disastrous. Surely it couldn't be as bad as he was thinking though...all he had done was leave a human child in the care of a defective SIR unit and a jealous AI that had wanted to kill the kid a few hours ago... "Zim will be back soon and everything will be fine... Zim should not even be worrying! Zim is not some, ngh, _mother-drone_! He is a mighty irken invader! Zim is-"

Whatever Zim was he couldn't say it, due to being cut off as a blur of a creature ran into him. If he had to guess it was a child no older than the Dib. Zim simply watched the child in annoyance as he called out a quick apology before going back to running down the street, quickly darting into an alleyway. It was strange because the child's voice had sounded so familiar. Not to mention his hair looked a lot like Dib's...

And those maroon pajamas...

"They didn't..." Zim's eye twitched as he thought back to Computer and Gir, wondering if it had been the right decision to leave a child in their hands. Metaphorically speaking. It seemed that when the situation called for it that Zim could run quite fast. It only took him a minute or so to get back to his base where usually it would have taken him little under half an hour.

"What...on Irk..."

* * *

Hope the newer version made you smile, or at least chuckle. Oh! The Waffle Force Drones, the monkey one with the strawhat? I was a big One Piece fan back then, still am but the obsession was stronger back when I did the rewrite of this.


End file.
